


Weird Computer Hacking Gamzee

by the_emerald_rose



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 01:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/831171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_emerald_rose/pseuds/the_emerald_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a rough couple of weeks, but Gamzee has a surprise in store.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weird Computer Hacking Gamzee

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a commission from tumblr user colorsandskulls. Here you go! :D  
> This work was a lot of fun to do, nce I sat down and actually did it.

It’s a nice, sunny day out. The birds are chirping, the wind is giving a nice rustle to the trees. It’s summer now, and you’re finally on break.

The only option now is to go looking up fanfic.

There’s always something new, but one fic in particular caught your eye. It was a small ficlet, barely even a oneshot. The word count was nonexistent, actually. For all intents and purposes, this shouldn’t exist. It’s just a site bug or something, you figured. You scroll past.

But you can’t help but wonder, “What was that?”

So you scroll back up and click the thing, expecting a 404 error or something like that. Or maybe it’ll take you to some weird Russian porn site. Either of those would be more exciting than what you got. You got a blank page, with the site’s layout for a site. Just all the fields were blank.

You scoff. Goddamned internet sites are being dumb. It’s buggier than a Tumblr update. Just as you’re about to back out of the page (and while considering filing a bug report), some purple text shows up.

“hEy YoU.”

Well what in the heck is that? That was not there before. It looks like someone is typing onto your screen. Not just that text is suddenly showing up and stuff, but like you’re actually typing it. You look down at your keyboard and see no keys moving.

Great. Someone’s hacked your computer and is trolling you. Marvelous. Just as you’re about to reach for the power button, more purple text filters onto the screen.

“nOw JuSt WaIt A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiNuTe, PaL. I’M tAlKiNg To YoU, mOtHeRfUcK, aNd I dOn’T lIkE bEiNg InTeRrUpTeD.”

Is this a joke? Someone’s hacked your computer and is talking to you as Gamzee Makara. That is ridiculous. Everything about this scenario is ridiculous.

You lean back in your chair and drum your fingers on your lap, waiting for whatever it is mystery hacker wants from you. You’re probably going to lose all your MP3s (legally obtained, of course) and movies (those are legal too) and you’ll have to reset a few passwords, but curiosity killed the cat, you suppose.

“I kNoW sHiT’s HaRd, MaN. sHiT’s MoThErFuCkInG hArD aS bAlLs. BuT hErE’s ThE tHiNg AbOuT bAlLs.” The text paused for a while, then followed up with, “I gOt No MoThErFuCkInG iDeA wHeRe I wAs GoInG wItH tHaT.”

You chuckle a bit. Things have been kind of stressful these past few days. School’s been tough, and the job you’ve been working is even tougher. But how did he know that? Perhaps this guy’s some kind of creepy stalker and managed to find your blog. Or maybe he’s someone you know from school. Or maybe he’s your dad or something. Amusement turns to panic, and you slide away from the computer.

“hEy I wAsN’t DoNe! :o(“

Oh great. You made him sad. You scoot back to the computer, then freeze. He can see you. He knew you just slid away from the computer. You hastily get some paper while more purple text scrolls onto the screen.

“I jUsT wAnTeD tO lEt YoU kNoW tHaT eVeN tHoUgH sHiT’s ToUgH rIgHt NoW…”

You taped a piece of paper over the webcam and hid under a blanket, continuing to watch the text scroll in.

“HeLl, ShIt Is MoThErFuCkInG hArD aS a…”

You cautiously reach for the power button, but the computer suddenly honks at you. The current train of thought this Gamzee impersonator had was interrupted.

“Yo I sAiD nO iNtErRuPtIoNs. HuMaNs I mOtHeRfUcKiNg SwEaR. jUsT sIt BaCk AnD lIsTeN, aNd DoN’t WoRrY a BiT. lEt Me Do My MaGiC.”

Begrudgingly, you lean back and watch more purple text filter in. How did he know you were reaching for the power button? You covered up the webcam. You cover up the webcam with some more paper, just to be sure.

“AnYwAy WhAt I wAs TrYiNg To SaY wAs ThAt SoMeTiMeS sHiT hAs To GeT hArD tO aPpReCiAtE wHaT’s GoOd In YoUr LiFe, YoU kNoW? lIkE iF yOu HaVe A lOt Of TrOuBlE tAkInG a BiG sHiT, iT mAkEs YoU aPpReCiAtE aLl ThE lItTlE sHiTs In LiFe, YoU fEeL mE? :o)”

You weren’t sure if this logic was just bullshit or actually pretty sound. On the one hand, someone had hacked a page on this fanfiction site and was typing to you as Gamzee Makara in real time, and he was definitely not real. On the other hand, he had some pretty good points.

You leaned in a bit closer to your computer and stroked your chin curiously. None of this made much sense, though. How was he seeing you? How did he know what was up with your life? Carefully, you peeked out from under your blankets in hopes of seeing someone in your room to chuckle at your ridiculous behavior. Unfortunately, there’s no one there. More purple text streams in.

“YeAh I gEt It, ThIs Is KiNd Of CrEePy, BuT lIkE… I gUeSs I jUsT wAnTeD tO tElL yOu ThAt. I kNoW hUmAn FoLk TeNd To GiVe Up JuSt BeFoRe ThEy Do SoMe MiRaCuLoUs ShIt. LoOk At ThAt JoHn KiD mY pAlEmAtE’s GoT hIs MotHeRfUcKiNg EyE oN. kId WeNt GoDtIeR eVeN wItH aLl ThE bUlLsHiT iN hIs LiFe.”

Strange-computer-hacking-Gamzee-impersonator had a point. John DID go godtier, even though he lost a lot of stuff in his life. But that’s in a webcomic, not real life. … or is it? You weren’t sure at this point. Maybe this is all some clever ploy by Andrew Hussie…

“I aIn’T sAyInG tHaT yOu’Re GoNnA gO gOdTiEr Or AnYtHiNg LiKe ThAt, BuT tHe PoInT sTaNds, YoU fEeL? lIkE jUsT ‘cAuSe ThAt KiNd Of MiRaClE wOn’T hApPeN, dOeSn’T mEaN nO mIrAcLeS bE cOmInG yOuR wAy. :o)”

He had a point. Even if things weren’t spectacular right now, it didn’t mean that things weren’t about to get spectacular. You smiled, and felt yourself feeling a little bit better.

Thanks, weird computer hacking Gamzee.


End file.
